“I’m worried that you're going to judge me as being weak and a failure” Clive said to me during his first consultation. Clive (not his real name) was a guy in his early 20’s He had come to me because he’d lost something very important to all of us. His life was seemingly pointless and meaningless. He felt like a failure. And this really came across in his body-language… he was hunched over in his seat as if cowering from a blow, he mumbled into his chest which made hearing him very hard at times and his breath was short & sharp.
Our first 3-6 sessions together was really about me supporting him to feel comfortable in talking more openly about his challenges and how getting out of bed felt like a huge effort. I established this foundation of trust with Clive by being non-judgemental, authentic, respectful and listening carefully. This time enabled me to get a far clearer understanding of his issue and how I could support him in discovering his own answers, solutions and goals.
During weeks 6-15 Clive started showing changes in how he thought about himself. “I’m not as bad as other people make me out to be”… “I deserve to be with someone that treats me with respect”… “I’m worth more than that” He remarked to me during this time. These subtle changes shown through in his body-language as well. Gone had the mumbling into his chest and his breath was far deeper & stable.
I focused my way of working with him based upon his individual needs and the direction he wanted to go. Our strategies, techniques and experiments included:
- Teaching him a meditation practice that he could use to calm himself down during difficult situations
- Experimenting with various self-awareness expanding exercises, as I believe that greater awareness empowers you to make better choices
- Offering him a fresh & unique perspective on the challenges he was facing and supporting him to discover his own creative solutions
In total I worked with Clive for 6 months. I witnessed a remarkable transformation take place during this time. Out of his hard work emerged a man who was clear about what he wanted out of life, an upright posture supported by a backbone of self-confidence and the communication skills to form closer relationships with his loved ones.
I am extremely proud of Clive and how he turned things around.
Clive is just one example of the people I have worked with. For you, the process of personal transformation maybe far quicker or longer, I think it really depends on how committed you are to the work.
I’m telling you about Clive’s journey back to health because this was a turning point for me as well. I realised that I enjoy the process of supporting my male clients to find their way out of that pit they’ve been stuck in for such a long time, to offer them a hand so they can climb out back into the light.
I decided that my purpose in life is to support men like Clive, like you, to start finding themselves again and to discover what will bring them happiness in life.
If you’ve read this far then I think your ready to start your own journey now. Please click on my contacts page and book your first consultation.
P.S. For those of you that are interested, I’ve included my qualifications and professional memberships below:
BACP Accredited Diploma in Counselling, The Gestalt Centre, 2012-2015
Post-Graduate Diploma in Gestalt Psychotherapy theory, London Metropolitan University, 2016-2017
Registered member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy. This organisation is the leading governing body for my industry.